Everybody was… kung fu fighting?

 

So…

This happened. For… funsies, I assume?

I’m not gonna lie, I laughed my ass off. Off, completely. Took me like, ten minutes to find it. I mean… They’re kung fu fighting Scottish monks.

Now, despite that bit of ridiculousness, I actually quite enjoyed this episode. Like in the previous series, we have a bona fide historical figure gracing us with their presence, and this time it’s Queen Victoria:

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And I am happy to say that she is as awesome (if not more than) Charles Motherfucking Dickens.

She’s witty and regal and she will shoot your fucking face off, yo:

(Source)

I also love that this episode features a werewolf.

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To quote my surrogate father/sexy librarian crush Rupert Giles, “I must admit, I-I-I am intrigued. Werewolves. It's-it's one of the classics!”

And at the risk of slight blasphemy, I kind of prefer this werewolf to the ones on Buffy. I had the exact same reaction as the Doctor upon seeing it, as a matter of fact.

Speaking of the Doctor… I am now obligated to profess my undying love for all that he is in this episode. Him and Rose, really. They have this new dynamic that’s sorta like the dynamic between Nine/Rose/Jack in the beginning of Boom Town. They’re having fun. They’re giddy, even. Eager for adventure! It’s infectious, really—or it is to me, at least.

This episode isn’t much in the way of heavy stuff. There is some talk of the dead, and how frustrating  it is that their realm is so far beyond the reach of ours (something I know resonated with the Doctor), but for the most part I think this one’s all about the adventure of it.

That is, of course, until Vicky harshes the mellow by scolding the Doctor and Rose (and, by extension, me, since I was having just as much fun as they were) for taking such srs bsns lightly, and exiling them from her kingdom (!).

And then she establishes some kind of organization to investigate (and defend the Empire from) Otherworldly Threats present and future and she calls it Torchwood, but that’s probably not important, right?

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… Right.

FYI, the Royal Family are totally werewolves.

We’ve gone forever without a list. Let’s have one, shall we?

 

• The Doctor singing.
• The Doctor speaking in (David Tennant’s native) Scottish accent: (Source)
• Also:  (Source)
• There had been six attempts on Queen Victoria’s life?! Are we sure she’s not a Highlander or a vampire?
• The “I am not amused” running gag is my favorite of all running gags, because Rose thinks exactly like me. You look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t try to get a Royal to say “I am not amused.” You totally would, you damned liar.
• I also love so much that they put money on it.
• That poor guy in the cage. He suffers from the dreaded gum disease known as GINGIVITIS.
• The Doctor: [about the telescope] It's a bit rubbish. How many prisms has it got? Way too many... the magnification's gone right over the top, that's a stupid kind of -
  [aside to Rose]
  The Doctor: - am I being rude again?
  Rose: Yup.
  The Doctor: But it's pretty! Very... pretty!
• “You could easily… not be amused.”                                                 (Source) BEST. RUNNING GAG. EVER.
• And there goes Rose again, with the befriending of the help. She should set up a shop or something. (Have I mentioned that I love her for this? ‘Cause I totally do.)
• Also loving that she talks to the guy in the cage and gathers intel. She’s just… growing up so fast!
• Father Angelo: We have waited so long for one of your journeys to coincide with the moon.
  Queen Victoria: Then you have waited in vain. After six attempts on my life
  [she reaches into her clutch-bag and pulls out a pistol, aiming it at him], I am hardly unprepared.
  Father Angelo: Oh, I don't think so, woman.
  Queen Victoria: The correct form of address is “Your Majesty.”
  [she shoots]
• Sir Robert: It's all my fault. I should have sent you away. I tried to suggest something was wrong... I thought you might notice. Did you think there was nothing strange about my household staff?
  The Doctor: Well, they were bald, athletic, your wife's away... I just thought you were happy!
• (Source)
• Sir Robert: That creature won't give up, Doctor, and we still don't possess an actual weapon.
  The Doctor: Oh, your father got all the brains, didn't he?
  Rose: Being rude again.
  The Doctor: Good. I meant that one.
• “You want weapons? We're in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world!”
• (Source)
• The Doctor and Rose are knighted!
• (Source)
• That is all.

After this, we’re going back to school for School Reunion! I don’t wanna give anything away, but that’s one of my faves for many reasons. Until then!

Old friends, new Doctor!

 

Yay, a “body switch” plotline!

 

(Source of both)

I like those almost as much as sword fights!

Well… when done reasonably well, anyway. As I guess would be the case with most things… Anyway. We have a new episode to talk about! With a new Doctor! On New Earth!

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This is one of those episodes that I don’t know how the fandom receives, and I’m glad of it, because it’s one I like for reasons I will outline in this post. Despite The Christmas Invasion, I consider this episode to be the first full-length treatment we get of the new new Doctor, and I love so much that it also brings back the Face of Boe and Cassandra.

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… Have I mentioned that I love Cassandra? And what a good episode for her, too!

Okay first? Not fond of the virus zombies. My argument is all science-based, and I know—who am I to bring logic to this discussion, dammit?! I just don’t get how every disease in the universe is communicable by simple touch, or why just a simple mixture of all the medicines would cure it when such a mixture would cause any of a number of reactions that may alter the effect of all the medicines involved, and  not always favorably. And just being showered with it cures everything? I just… Okay, I got it all out of my system, I’m fine.

Still, this happy Doctor fills me with almost as much joy as Chris’ happy Doctor, so I’ll just focus on that.

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I like this Doctor. A lot. I like that he’s sort of like a puppy, bouncing all over the place, and I love that he can go to that angry place that makes me feel small. Not as small as Chris’ Doctor used to make me feel, actually, which is fascinating to me.

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Nine when he was angry was cold and dark and dangerous. Even when he was shouting, it felt like he was—I don’t know… Calculating just how much you suck as a species? Argh, I hate this language sometimes.

Anyway, Ten is… for lack of a better, more accurate word, warmer… in his anger. He’s dangerous in a different way. It feels less… alien? I don’t know, people.

This isn’t my first language. Sorry about the weird detour.

And now, let’s talk about Cassandra, shall we?

I mentioned before that I love that this episode brings her back (and the Face of Boe, because I just like that thing), and I do so much. Because in many ways, this episode is a parallel of End of the World; we’re being re-introduced to the Doctor, we’re once again in the far future, and we once again have to adjust to changes in the existing world.

So we get two characters that we met in EotW, and we get to see how this Doctor interacts with them.

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But Cassandra… Oh, man, Cassandra may be my favorite. At first, she seems not to have changed much at all, trying to use the cat-nuns’ secrets for her own gain, but then with the body-switching and the Doctor’s fine example, she ends up being the co-savior of an entirely new race of human beings. Cassandra does. Cassandra.

And it teaches her compassion. Sadly, it also leads her to realize there’s no place in the new world for her anymore, but I don’t think that’s all that bad.

The former Cassandra would say that the new world is full of mutant stock and that’s why she doesn’t belong… but this Cassandra…

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This Cassandra just knows her time has come. And her last action is to give herself something nice—which is very Cassandra, but also is very poignant, considering everything that’s happened before.

She just wants to know that she’s beautiful. And while Old!Cassandra takes that superficially, Chip!Cassandra means it in a different way.

Of course Cassandra is beautiful—she helps save humanity.

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…Reluctantly, but still…

And the Doctor—the Doctor who once stood coldly by as she died—the Doctor gives her the chance.

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Argh, you guys… MY FEELS.

 

Obligatory list. Admit it—you like lists. You think they’re foxy…

• You cannot know how much I love that Rose says goodbye to Jackie and Mickey before she gets back on the TARDIS.
• Things this episode says that I said to myself while watching, part one: (Source)
• (Source)  OTmotherfuckingP, y’all.
• “Strictly speaking, it's the fifteenth New York since the original. So that makes it New New New New New New... New New New New New New... New New New York.”
• Cat people. The “not the kind of cat person I am” cat people.
• LOL @the disinfection. There are gifs of it, but way too many…
• The Doctor/A Little Shop… OTP
• “Oh, I don’t know… I like impossible.”  That tiny smile. I would have so many of your babies, David, you have no idea.
• Moisturize me.
• “It’s like living inside a bouncy castle!”
• “The same Doctor, with a new face! That hypocrite!”
• Okay, when Matron Casp says “tender application of science,” it freaks me right the fuck out…
• (Source) …So damn jealous. So, so jealous.
• Love how the Doctor figures out that it’s not Rose after she snogs the living heck out of him. “Search the subframe,” indeed.
• Rose would care.
• Okay, cat-nuns, stop freaking me out. Don’t say “the Flesh is free!” Please?
• Things this episode says that I said to myself while watching, part two: (Source)
• Wait… a “little bit foxy”?! “A little”?!
• “Go and play with a ball of string.”
• “You’re completely mad! …I can see why she likes you.”
• The Face of Boe: I had grown tired of the Universe, Doctor. But you have taught me to look at it anew.
  The Doctor: There are legends, you know. Saying that you're millions of years old.
  The Face of Boe: Now, that would be impossible.
  The Doctor: Wouldn't it just. I got the impression there was something you wanted to tell me.
  The Face of Boe: A great secret.
  The Doctor: So the legend says.
  The Face of Boe: It can wait.
  The Doctor: Oh! Does it have to?
• The Face of Boe: We shall meet again, Doctor, for the third time—for the last time—and the truth shall be told. Until that day.
  The Doctor: That is enigmatic. Th—tha—that is textbook enigmatic.
• “Sweet lord, I’m a walking doodle.”
• “I mean it: you look so beautiful.”
• Oh… Chip is her favorite pattern because “he” is the last person to tell her she’s beautiful!  

 

Next, Tooth and Claw.

Okay, okay… He can stay.

 

You may remember my friend, the WTF owl, from my previous post:

His reactions are basically my reactions to this episode until the end of it, really.

It didn’t help that Rose was all panicky and annoying in this one, either. Look, I get that you just saw some freaky shit, Rose, but I just saw some freaky shit, too, and I’m handling it (slightly) better than you.

I mean, I miss the Doctor, too, but it’s obvious that the new guy’s sickly and he needs your help. I mean… Jackie gets it:

(Source)

I get that holy shit scary aliens, but whining about how the Doctor would never abandon everyone to their fate (which? Not even his choice! He’s passed out, not taking a lovely afternoon nap) is Not Helping.

Not that I wasn’t frustrated that the Doctor was unconscious for most of the episode, ‘cause I had the same question Jackie had about how deeply the changes went and I was getting no answers.

So here’s rundown of my emotions:

• worried about the Doctor
• confused about regeneration
• happy to see Harriet Jones, Prime Minister
• annoyed by Rose
• intimidated by the aliens
• amused by the characterization of the US president, and Harriet’s response to him
• love for everything Jackie Tyler chooses to be
• rushes of affection for Mickey
• worried about the Doctor
• worried that there would be an apocalypse (I come from Buffy… I know how those things go)
• worried about the Doctor

I mean… I’m exhausted!

 

By the way, did I mention that I love Mickey Smith? I love that he’s still comfortable with Rose and is glad to see her, and I wish that a visit from Rose didn’t mean a disruption in normality and that he could just let it be Christmas with his friend, but I just love how he handles everything when it all goes south.

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He offers Rose unquestioning support, and stays upbeat even when he’s clearly dismayed that Rose’s solution to the situation is running away and hiding (not that I’m judging her… I would’ve been in the TARDIS as soon as them sumbitches were on the screen).

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…Yeeeeeeeahhh, nope.

Oh, and Harriet Jones, Prime Minister! My god, woman, I think I love you almost as much as I love Jackie Tyler.

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I don’t agree with all her actions in this one, but I do love how calm and forceful she was throughout the entire crisis. And the bit with learning everyone’s name because she remembers never asking the aide’s name in Aliens of London/World War Three… I just. I can’t. It’s a tiny acknowledgement to the Doctor—he was the one that asked, after all, and it obviously stayed with her—and I wish all things in the world were as precious.

And for all my annoyance with her this episode, I like the part where Rose tries to stand up to the Sycorax:

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… I also enjoy that “bitch, you sure about this?” look Mickey has in the background.

Rose still has a long way to go, though—for all her courage in that instant, she was pretty much forced into it. Remember, her first instinct was to hide. And there is that little tremor in her voice, which pretty much makes it impossible for the Sycorax to take her seriously. Oh, god, I was so scared they would kill her when she was done. I love you for trying, Rose!

And then… Oh, and then…

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I honestly had no idea what to expect. As I mentioned before, I hadn’t seen the Children in Need special before this, so I didn’t know this man. I was still sort of smarting at the loss of Christopher Eccleston, and I didn’t know if I could trust this… this… English professor? A sorta sexy English professor, but still… Okay, a lot sexy. He is pretty, okay?!

But then he started talking, and I… well, I fell in love.

I still missed Chris, but I could get behind this Tennant fellow. He was fun. He was funny. He was rude and not ginger. And he challenged a fucking alien to a fucking swordfight!

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I love swordfights more than most things. Behold:

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I just love ‘em! AND! And there’s a Hitchhiker’s reference! I just—look, it’s like someone looked into my brain and pressed all the “make V love this guy” buttons.

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And best of all, he’s absolutely the Doctor… oh, not the same, of course, but similar. He has these hints of coldness and fury that remind me of Nine.

And speaking of, I’ve got to the bit that I have to address.

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Let’s be clear—I do not agree with Harriet Jones’ actions at all. It was murder, and no amount of her asserting that it was defense will make me change my mind. Shooting on a retreating party is indefensible.

However. I don’t agree with the Doctor’s reaction, either. Granted, Harriet made a huge mistake, but toppling her government because she challenged him (and it was because she challenged him, not because she gave the wrongheaded order to fire) was impulsive and childish.

You don’t get to make that decision, Doctor, the people do. Worse, it seems to support Harriet’s taunt that the Doctor is just another alien threat, and this makes me feel all sorts of bad.

Anyway, since I don’t wanna feel bad, I’d just like to give you a fully-dressed Doctor (yum):

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And the requisite list:

• Aww, Jackie still gets Rose Christmas presents.
• Rose Tyler: What happened? Is he all right?
  Mickey Smith: I don't know. He just keeled over. But who is he? Where’s the Doctor?
  Rose Tyler: That’s him, right in front of you. That’s the Doctor.
  Jackie Tyler: What'dya mean, ‘that’s the Doctor’? Doctor who?
• “Anything else he’s got two of?” Ooh, I volunteer to find out!
• “I can’t even go shopping with you—we get attacked by a brass band.”
• Uh… who changed the Doctor into his jammies?
• The Doctor: My head! [groans in pain] I'm having a neuron implosion... I need...
  Jackie Tyler: What do you need?
  The Doctor: I need--
  Jackie: Just say it!
  The Doctor: I need--
  Jackie: Tell me, tell me, tell me!
  The Doctor: I need--
  Jackie: Painkillers!
  The Doctor: I need--
  Jackie: D'you need aspirin?
  The Doctor: I need--
  Jackie: Codeine? Paracetamol? Oh, I dunno, Pepto-Bismol?
  The Doctor: I need--
  Jackie: Liquid paraffin? Vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E?
  The Doctor: I need--
  Jackie: Is it food? Something simple? Bowl of soup! Nice bowl of soup? Soup and a sandwich? Bowl of soup and a little ham sandwich?
  The Doctor: I need you to shut up!
  Jackie: Oooh, he hasn’t changed that much, has he?
• The Doctor: We haven’t got much time. If there’s pilot fish then—hold on, why is there an apple in my dressing gown?
  Jackie: Oh, that’s Howard’s, sorry.
  The Doctor: He keeps apples in his dressing gown?
  Jackie: He gets hungry...
  The Doctor: What, he gets hungry in his sleep?
  Jackie: Sometimes.
• “There’s an act of Parliament banning my autobiography.”
• The Doctor’s broken. :(
• Aw, Jackie’s such a good mum.
• Torchwood? Who are they when they’re at home?
• Okay, the people standing on top of buildings are creepy.
• Sonic BOOM
• Ha! The aliens do the “yes, we know who you are.”
• It is very British to have tea in a crisis…
• Oh, that hug Harriet Jones gives Rose. <3
• Why would Harriet and Alex understand? They’ve never been inside the TARDIS.
• “Aww, I wanted to be ginger! I’ve never been ginger. And you, Rose Tyler! Fat lot of good you were. You gave up on me! Oo, that’s rude! Is that the sort of man I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger…”
• (Source)
• The Doctor: See, that’s the thing, I’m the Doctor, but beyond that, I—I just don’t know. I literally do not know who I am. It’s all untested. Am I... funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? [He winks at Rose] Right old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed, left-handed, a gambler, a fighter, a coward, a traitor, a liar, a nervous wreck—I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob.
• Tasting things—that’s new…
• (Source) This is when I knew…
• Sycorax Leader: You stand as this world’s champion.
  The Doctor: Thank you. I’ve no idea who I am, but you’ve just summed me up.
• Sword fight!
• “Not bad for a man in his jim jams. Very Arthur Dent. Now, there was a nice man—Hang on, what have I got in here? A satsuma. Ah, that friend of your mother’s. He does like his snacks, doesn’t he? But doesn’t that just sum up Christmas? You go through all those presents, and right at the end, tucked away in the bottom there’s always one stupid old satsuma. [the Sycorax gets up to attack the Doctor,  who then launches the satsuma at a release mechanism] No second chances. I'm that sort of a man.”
• “By the ancient rights of combat, I forbid you to scavenge here for the rest of time. And when you go back to the stars and tell others of this planet, when you tell them of its riches, its people, its potential, when you talk of the Earth, then make sure that you tell them this...it. Is. Defended.”
• The Doctor hugs Jackie! There’s proof! (Source)
• Ack. So disappointed in Harriet. :(
• I want to get lost in the Doctor’s closet.
• Well, wouldja look at this shit: (Source) Mr. “Don’t Make This Place Domestic” having Christmas dinner with Rose and her family!
• The Doctor: It’s the spaceship breaking up in the atmosphere. This isn’t snow. It’s ash.
  Rose: Okay, not so beautiful.
  The Doctor: This is a brand-new planet Earth. No denying the existence of aliens now. Everyone saw it. Everything’s new.
  Rose: And what about you? What are you going to do next?
  The Doctor: Well... back to the TARDIS. Same old life.
  Rose: On your own?
  The Doctor: Why? Don’t you want to come?
  Rose: Well, yeah.
  The Doctor: Do you, though?
  Rose: Yeah.
  The Doctor: Well, I just thought... ‘cause I changed…
  Rose: Yeah, I thought ‘cause you changed you might not want me anymore.
  The Doctor: Oh, I'd love you to come!
  Rose: Okay!
• Those two are frickin’ adorable together.
• “Trouble’s just the bits in between! It’s all waiting out there, Jackie. And it’s brand new to me. All those planets, creatures and horizons—I haven’t seen them yet. Not with these eyes. And it is gonna be... fantastic.” (Source) Oh! Oh, thank you for that. Bless you.
• Christopher, I’ll always love you!

Oh! Before I close this endless post, I just wanted to add one thing: It’s come to my attention that people give Davies a lot of flak for having Christmas Specials that aren’t very Christmas-y. To those people I say

(Hi, Roarer!)

As if there’s not enough sappy Christmas crap clogging up TV already… Sheesh.

Okey dokey, next time we meet, it’ll be New Earth!