October 22, 2012

Everybody was… kung fu fighting?



This happened. For… funsies, I assume?

I’m not gonna lie, I laughed my ass off. Off, completely. Took me like, ten minutes to find it. I mean… They’re kung fu fighting Scottish monks.

Now, despite that bit of ridiculousness, I actually quite enjoyed this episode. Like in the previous series, we have a bona fide historical figure gracing us with their presence, and this time it’s Queen Victoria:


And I am happy to say that she is as awesome (if not more than) Charles Motherfucking Dickens.

She’s witty and regal and she will shoot your fucking face off, yo:


I also love that this episode features a werewolf.


To quote my surrogate father/sexy librarian crush Rupert Giles, “I must admit, I-I-I am intrigued. Werewolves. It's-it's one of the classics!”

And at the risk of slight blasphemy, I kind of prefer this werewolf to the ones on Buffy. I had the exact same reaction as the Doctor upon seeing it, as a matter of fact.

Speaking of the Doctor… I am now obligated to profess my undying love for all that he is in this episode. Him and Rose, really. They have this new dynamic that’s sorta like the dynamic between Nine/Rose/Jack in the beginning of Boom Town. They’re having fun. They’re giddy, even. Eager for adventure! It’s infectious, really—or it is to me, at least.

This episode isn’t much in the way of heavy stuff. There is some talk of the dead, and how frustrating  it is that their realm is so far beyond the reach of ours (something I know resonated with the Doctor), but for the most part I think this one’s all about the adventure of it.

That is, of course, until Vicky harshes the mellow by scolding the Doctor and Rose (and, by extension, me, since I was having just as much fun as they were) for taking such srs bsns lightly, and exiling them from her kingdom (!).

And then she establishes some kind of organization to investigate (and defend the Empire from) Otherworldly Threats present and future and she calls it Torchwood, but that’s probably not important, right?


… Right.

FYI, the Royal Family are totally werewolves.

We’ve gone forever without a list. Let’s have one, shall we?


  • The Doctor singing.
  • The Doctor speaking in (David Tennant’s native) Scottish accent: (Source)
  • Also:  (Source)
  • There had been six attempts on Queen Victoria’s life?! Are we sure she’s not a Highlander or a vampire?
  • The “I am not amused” running gag is my favorite of all running gags, because Rose thinks exactly like me. You look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t try to get a Royal to say “I am not amused.” You totally would, you damned liar.
  • I also love so much that they put money on it.
  • That poor guy in the cage. He suffers from the dreaded gum disease known as GINGIVITIS.
  • The Doctor: [about the telescope] It's a bit rubbish. How many prisms has it got? Way too many... the magnification's gone right over the top, that's a stupid kind of -
    [aside to Rose]
    The Doctor: - am I being rude again?
    Rose: Yup.
    The Doctor: But it's pretty! Very... pretty!
  • “You could easily… not be amused.”                                                 (Source) BEST. RUNNING GAG. EVER.
  • And there goes Rose again, with the befriending of the help. She should set up a shop or something. (Have I mentioned that I love her for this? ‘Cause I totally do.)
  • Also loving that she talks to the guy in the cage and gathers intel. She’s just… growing up so fast!
  • Father Angelo: We have waited so long for one of your journeys to coincide with the moon.
    Queen Victoria: Then you have waited in vain. After six attempts on my life
    [she reaches into her clutch-bag and pulls out a pistol, aiming it at him], I am hardly unprepared.
    Father Angelo: Oh, I don't think so, woman.
    Queen Victoria: The correct form of address is “Your Majesty.”
    [she shoots]
  • Sir Robert: It's all my fault. I should have sent you away. I tried to suggest something was wrong... I thought you might notice. Did you think there was nothing strange about my household staff?
    The Doctor: Well, they were bald, athletic, your wife's away... I just thought you were happy!
  • (Source)
  • Sir Robert: That creature won't give up, Doctor, and we still don't possess an actual weapon.
    The Doctor: Oh, your father got all the brains, didn't he?
    Rose: Being rude again.
    The Doctor: Good. I meant that one.
  • “You want weapons? We're in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world!”
  • (Source)
  • The Doctor and Rose are knighted!
  • (Source)
  • That is all.

After this, we’re going back to school for School Reunion! I don’t wanna give anything away, but that’s one of my faves for many reasons. Until then!


  1. No one is better than Charles Motherfucking Dickens! Especially if he's played by Simon Callow.

    Also, bless you for every last one of your reaction gifs.

    1. Both Simon Callow and Charles Motherfucking Dickens are better than 98.78% of people. Proven by science.

  2. Ok, it's safe to say that I was very amused by this episode. I really liked the commraderie between Rose and Ten, it felt more like the relationship she had with Nine and Rose wasn't as moony. Just the right amount of cuteness. I loved the "I am not amused" bit.

    Also, what is this Torchwood stuff? Seems like they are bringing it up a lot. The government owns them? Harriet used them to assassinate the aliens in Christmas Invasion and now we see it was founded by Queen Victoria. Interesting.

    I love the side characters in this. I love the Sir Robert was redeemed a bit and I love, love, love that his wife was so resourceful and smart. The Queen was also a badass. How does this show write side characters so well? None of them ever really feel like "red shirts", they all feel like fleshed out human beings and I'm always sad to see any of them die.

  3. Believe it or not, this is one of the few RTD-penned episodes I actually really like :P The werewolf has a great mythology to it, it's heavy and creepy without losing it's sense of fun (hard to do) and Queen Victoria has got to be one of my favourite historical characters, mostly because the actress makes her so regal and powerful without making her bland and unlikable.

    Though, unlike you, I HATED the 'I am not amused' running gag (you could say I was not amused by it http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-anCDFiQ7IOI/USiYiKA3YEI/AAAAAAAAK5Y/MwP7Cbtm3Po/s1600/regret-nothing-dalek.gif), it had some elements of RTD goofiness (kung-fu fighting monks...k. Though they should get their own episode), and the ending was Davies basically screaming at the audience about how cool the Torchwood gimmick was.

    I loooooved the reference to Jamie, though :D BTW, write more of these :P