As if I wasn’t terrified of small children already…

 

You know, before this episode, the thought of a poor little lost child going around asking if random people are its mother wasn't all that scary to me.

And then, Steven Moffat happened.

And then this:

And then WHAT THE FUCK.

And then (Source)

Steven Moffat, what the hell is broken in your brain?!

At this point, I would like to point out that I first saw this episode somewhere between three and four in the morning. When it was dark. And for some reason I kept hearing breathing noises as if someone was wearing a mask or something. A gas mask, of course, because seriously, fuck you, Moffat.

Getting to this two-parter pretty much cemented my love for Doctor Who as a show. I loved it before, but now I also feared it, which… made me love it more? I don’t know. I’m fucked in the head. It’s something I deal with.

Oh, but how could I go this long without mentioning Jack?!

Jack is so beautiful to me. If I were to imagine the perfect man, it would be Jack. Jack is allowed to touch all of my parts. In fact, I will name my all my jackets “Jack,” so that when I put them on, I can say that I am snug in Jack’s embrace.

Seriously, though… What. A. Great. Character. He’s like the anti-homophobe. I don’t just love that he’s omnisexual, I love that he is so unapologetically, matter-of-factly omnisexual. And so charming! The man can do charm, okay?

While I side-eye the hell out of Rose for that “available” thing (available, Rose, REALLY?! Has anybody told Mickey this? Thought. So), I can’t blame her for enjoying Jack.

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Hell, I wanna enjoy Jack. Maybe twice.

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Oh! Also a good thing in this episode? All of Nancy, really.

I like how she commands such an air of respect and motherly affection even while she looks so young, and how she looks after the children because no one else will. And because she lost someone! Just like the Doctor, she takes care of everyone else because she can’t take care of whom she lost.

…I—I’m sorry, I have something in my eye.

And speaking of minor characters (really, “minor character” is such a relative term in this series) that mirror the Doctor, there is the other doctor: Doctor Constantine. When Doctor Constantine mentions losing his children and grandchildren as a result of the war—but still retaining his identity as a doctor—and the Doctor mentions he “know[s] the feeling,” my heart seized with pain for him—for both  of them.

…

…

 

The Doctor was a father and grandfather?!

Oh, but never mind because now it’s time for Moffat to ensure I don’t sleep easily for the rest of my life:

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Damn you, sir. Damn you to the darkest pit of—oh, wait. That’s probably where you get your ideas. Sigh.

 

• I love that mauve is the universally recognized color for “danger.”
• “Is it safe?” “Perfectly!” (TARDIS showers them with sparks) “Okay, reasonably—should’ve said “reasonably” there.”
• Of course Rose is drawn to save a lost kid.
• The Doctor and a kitty. All things are right with the world.
• “What's a copper gonna do with you lot, anyway? Arrest you for starving?”
• (Source)
• The Doctor knows what it’s like to be the only child left out in the cold. :(
• Nancy teasing the Doctor about his big nose and ears. <3
• “1941. Right now, not very far from here, the German war machine is rolling up the map of Europe. Country after country, falling like dominoes. Nothing can stop it—nothing. Until one tiny, damp little island says “no.” “No, not here.” A mouse in front of a lion. You’re amazing, the lot of you. Don’t know what you do to Hitler, but you frighten the hell out of me.” This is the best thing ever.
• Albion Hospital—why does that sound familiar?
• “Don’t you ever get tired of ‘Doctor’? Doctor who?!”
• First a navvy, now a U-boat captain. What is wrong with the Doctor’s jumper?!
• … And people wonder why I hate hospitals.

 

Tomorrow, The Doctor Dances!